My Favorite Way to Transform Negative Emotion
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As with a lot of things in life, a simple approach to transforming negative emotion into positive seems to work best.
These days, I typically apply a single one-size-fits-all solution whenever I feel less than good. Most of the time, this approach works like a charm.
But, it wasn’t always this way.
I used to regularly get stuck in a rut of not feeling good for hours on end.
These days, those kinds of experiences are few and far between.
And, on the occasion when I do end up wallowing in a negative state of upset, aggravation, self-doubt, self-criticism, or other not-so-fun-ways-of-feeling… it’s different than it used to be.
In the back of my mind, I know that if I want to I can always change it.
I feel a lot more empowered when it comes to my emotions than I used to. Instead being at the mercy of negative emotion, it’s more like I’m simply choosing to explore this negative state for a time and can focus myself out of it whenever I decide to.
What’s this special formula I use to feel better?
There are two parts it:
First, I shift my focus away from whatever thoughts are causing the negative emotion. Whenever I don’t feel good, it’s always because I’m telling myself some kind of story in my head. To feel better, I know I have to let go of telling that story no matter how justified it may seem in the moment or how attached part of me is to that story being “right.”
Second, instead of focusing on my mind’s story, I put my attention on my body. I do my best to just relax and simply feel the physical sensations of the emotion. I try to open up to the energy of the emotion and just let it flow through me.
I think the Sedona Method has a good way of describing this approach when they advise you to “welcome” the emotion. Instead of tensing against the negative feeling, I sometimes imagine opening up my arms to make a gesture of welcoming. I invite the energy to flow through me as it wants to do.
That seems to really help.
I find that this simple, two-part approach can work wonders for shifting my state.
The trickiest part by far of applying this formula is the letting go of telling my story about what’s wrong.
Often, those stories can feel very justified!
And often, there can be a strong temptation to keep thinking about whatever topic I’m not feeling good about because I believe I must figure it out or solve the problem right here and right now. It all feels super pressing and important.
What has really helped me to more easily let go of my story so that I can get back to feeling better again is understanding that a negative feeling state is actually the worst state for trying to solve problems, think clearly, figure anything out, etc.
I realized that when I am in a positive state of emotion I have a totally different perspective.
Things that seem like big huge problems when I’m not feeling good, often seem like no problem at all once I’m feeling better again.
Plus, solutions and insights come to mind so much more easily and effortlessly from a good feeling state.
Because I’ve realized these things about how my mind and energy work, it’s made it much easier to avoid the temptation of trying to think things through and figure things out when I don’t feel so good.
I’m still not, nor do I ever need to be, perfect at all this… but, I’ve gotten so much better at it then I used to be!
And, I’m thankful that I always know how to get to a better feeling, more resourceful state so that I don’t have to waste hours or even days in a negative funk.
Do you have a favorite way to shift negative emotion? I’d love to hear about it.
Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Love and Magic,
